A Winter's Raven Has Changed Me
by AssasinNinja
Summary: Beast Boy accidentally stumbles into Raven's mind while she meditates, and everything changes.
1. Chapter 1

**Fixed a few spelling errors.**

**Chapter One**

I like the color purple. It's a nice contrast to green.

What happens to my clothes when I shape-shift?

I don't consider myself a preachy vegetarian, but it really is the way to go. I wish I could make every meat-eater on the planet feel what I feel when I become the cow that they slaughter, or the pig they butcher. I don't know if I believe in souls, but animals have spirits, just like you or me. It doesn't matter what body that spirit dwells in, it feels, it thinks, it lives. I've never been a tree, but maybe they too hate being chopped down. No, I'm sure they hate it.

Purple is a nice contrast to green. Maybe I'm not using the right word, they clash well? Clash sounds like a bad thing. I'm no fashion expert.

"Beast Boy?" Robin is looking at me, not at me, in my direction. I can't tell where his eyes are behind that mask, does he ever make eye contact with anyone?

"Yeah?" I don't wear a mask, I'm always Beast Boy. Must be nice to be Dick Grayson sometimes.

"Have you seen Raven?"

Why do you care? "No I haven't. Why?"

"She hasn't left her room all day, if she's even in there."

"I'll go see." He knew I would, that's why he asked me. Lazy jerk. Or maybe he's just afraid of Raven? I wouldn't blame him, as far as birds go, a raven could easily overpower a robin.

Look at me with my knowledge of ornithology. I am a bird sometimes though, so I should know how the family gets along. Uncle Owl touches me in creepy ways, and Aunt Falcon eats all the potato salad at the barbecues, then complains about her weight.

What?

"Garfield, Garfield, Garfield." My name sounds unfamiliar on my tongue, I wouldn't hear it anymore at all if I didn't repeat it myself once in a while. Sometimes I count the ceiling lights between the common area and wherever I'm walking to.

I don't do it this time, the door to Raven's room is closed of course, and probably locked, though I wouldn't think of trying without knocking.

"Yo, Rae!" knock, knock, knock... knock kock, "Wake up Rae! It's like, almost four!"

If she's in there, she's not answering me. The door handle is cold, colder than it should be, I can feel the cold through my gloves. As it turns, I swear I hear the breaking of ice.

"Rae? Raven?" I call into a swirling purple portal that the door opens into, I could've sworn her room was supposed to be in here, not some entrance to a nether-realm. I could go get the others, but you know me, and if you don't, here's a little factoid: I'm impatient.

"Yo! Rob! There's some sort of worm-hole in Raven's room, I'm gonna go get her!" I don't hear him as I cross through the portal, but I'd bet he said something along the lines of, 'What!? Beast Boy, wait!'

He always says something like that.

My feet touch something cold, and I realize it's snow before I even open my eyes. I don't remember closing them, but they were closed. Last time I was in the snow, I was a penguin, and I was colder than when I was a polar bear, but I've never tried an arctic fox. I'd definitely be less conspicuous than a green polar bear.

The wind bites me, so I shift without further debate. I'm warm enough as the fox, and even though my skin is green, it works as well as the real animal's natural white coat. My smell is also greatly increased, and I quickly pick up Raven's scent. I'd call it something of a mixture between lavender and burning incense. I like it.

Naturally I can't call out, so I head in the direction of Raven's scent. I have no clue what this place is, it reminds me of that one planet in the Empire Strikes Back. The snow one. Hoth, I think. I always knew it was Hoth, I just didn't want to look like a nerd. I didn't want to seem like a nerd in my own thoughts.

I'm ostracized in my own mind.

I stop running when I see her, she is sitting on something, not the snow, something I can't make out. She doesn't look cold at all.

Without thinking I turn back into my human form, or as close to a human I can be, and call out to her.

"Rae!" I call again, she still doesn't move. I'm getting closer and closer to her. Boy, it's so cold, "Raven!"

I'm close enough to touch her now.

"What do you want?" She finally asks. I smile without choosing to.

"I'm here to help you escape!" She smirks slightly, and this worries me. My smile slips off my face, I can feel it waning away like I would if it slid down and fell to the ground.

"You really think I'm a prisoner here? I'm in this place by my own choosing, Beast Boy."

"What? Why?" I ask, but I can probably already tell what she's going to say. Something gloomy, I'm sure.

"It's not of your concern." She says, slightly upset. I figured she would tell me what she was doing, I think inside she likes it when she has strange reasons for doing things. I also think she likes telling people about it. Oh, man, it is so cold.

Am I shivering?

I can't bring myself to turn into a warmer animal, I stay myself. Beast Boy. I'm always Beast Boy.

"It-it is-is my-my c-c-oncern R-r-a-ph-en." I say, and she looks at me, offended I think. I don't pry any further, because I can tell she's ready to come out with the truth.

"None of you trust me." She says, too matter-of-factly for my taste. I rub my arms and shiver, and exhale a cloud of smoke.

"That's garbage Raven! We all t-t-t-trust you!" I argue the obvious, I would gladly put my life in the hands of this girl, without hesitation. Where was this coming from? She was having a psychic "time of the month".

"No! You're all just waiting for me to turn into a monster, you all think I'm just malevolent energy stored up!"

"Raven, you know none of us are smart enough to think of an insult like that!" I say, attempting a joke. She get's angrier, and doesn't reply.

"Raven! You know I trust you more than anyone on this planet, or any other planet!" I say, and I kindle what I think is hope inside her. For a moment she looks relieved, than her face becomes as hard as stone.

"Prove it!" She challenges, impossibly.

"How?!" I ask, but by now I've stopped shivering, my body's defense over the cold has failed me, and I want to shift so bad. I don't, I won't. I know I can't. She doesn't say anything, "Tell me how to prove it, and I will!"

She just sat there for a while. She was sitting on a round rock, I could tell now. She looked at me, and finally spoke.

"Take off your shirt."

My face is warmed by the blush, but then, I swear, the blood freezes in my cheeks. I don't know if it's the cold, but the regret I usually feel after thinking impure thoughts about Raven isn't there.

"B-b-but it's so cold!" I say, shyly.

"Trust me." She says, and I pull off my shirt.

It's too cold for me to feel anything other than numbness, but I stand there in my green skin, which I swear is turning blue.

"Now your shoes." She says, and I want to protest more than anything, but I don't.

I reach down, and pull off my shoes, which she knows I don't wear socks under. They're so cold now they hurt like fire, and I want to shift.

"Don't change," She warns, "Don't you dare change."

I nod, and whimper, and stand there in the freezing cold for what feels like hours. Then, I lose all feeling. I'm freezing to death, and I can tell. I look to Raven, and want to show her how desperate I am, but I hide my pain and nod, because I trust her.

She spins her body to face me, and just when I think I'm about to die, she talks.

"Come here." Her voice is shaky. I do as she says, and slowly I walk toward her. Maybe the cold is driving me insane, but every step I take seems to make me warmer. I take step after step, until I'm only a little ways away. I know why she seemed so warm now, it's because somehow her body is radiating in heat. She opens her cloak a bit more than usual, and I surprise myself by diving at her. I bury my head in her warmth and rub every part of me over her burning grey skin. I'm almost certain she's blushing.

"Oh, Garfield..." I hear her say, and I remember what my name sounds like.

"Beast Boy?" Then I forget. I realize my eyes are closed, and I open them. To my vasty surprise, I am not in the land of Hoth any longer. I am sitting cross-legged on the floor, across the room from Raven. In her room. She is meditating or something, because her eyes are closed and her breathing is too regular to be intentional.

Of course I'm no expert on meditation.

"Beast Boy?" I turn around and see them, my teammates, staring at me, "What's going on? Where's the portal?"

"Huh." I say, standing up slowly. My shirt and shoes are back on, luckily, "I dunno." I look over at Raven, and peering under her hood, I can see her blushing, "I'm gonna ask Rae."

When I shake her awake, gently, she stares at me dreamily for half a second, mouth agape, eyes frosted over, and I think that she might be fantasizing about me. Then she snaps out of it, and slaps my hand (which I didn't even know I had so close to her face) away.

"I was meditating. What do you want?"

"Um, Raven," I begin, warily, "Weren't we just in a snowy world? On the other side of a portal?"

Fear crosses her face in a split-second, but I see it.

"No! What are you talking about, I was just meditating." She lies, I know she lies. Why though? Was I not supposed to see what I saw? And why did she show such surprise when I revealed what I had experienced? Was she fine with having me in her meditation, as long as I wasn't actually there?

What the heck did I even just say?

"Huh." I say, and the other Titans pretend to not think I'm acting crazy.

"I think your powers might have messed with Beast Boy's head a little." Robin says, behind his mask.

"I apologize." Raven says apathetically, "Won't happen again. Now would you all get out?"

They all left but me. I just stared at her in disbelief. She stared back, in what appeared to be contempt.

"I don't trust you anymore... not after you made me look like a lunatic in front of our friends." I don't look at her, I just turn and leave, and as I cross through her doorframe, I hear a gasp.

* * *

I don't like standing still. I can sit for a while I mean, playing video games, or eating, but just sitting in my room, doing nothing, is

I just

it's frustrating. I've been pacing outside her room for a half-hour now, thinking of ways to apologize. Every time I think of some way to say I'm sorry, I'm filled with reluctance. She should be the one apologizing to me!

Am I being stupid? Is this just me being upset that my good deed wasn't accepted by Raven, or revealed to my teammates? I'm the one who did the right thing here! Apologize to me! All of you!

I throw my hands up to knock on her door, but they freeze inches from the metal. I stand there, like an idiot. Without a mask.

An alarm goes off, and I wait for her door to slide open.

"Yo B!" I hear Cyborg yell for me from the commons, then Robin,

"Titans! Go!"

After a few seconds, I realize Raven isn't in her room, and I run to face whatever problem we're solving today.

* * *

I hate standing still. It's getting worse. I have to sprint just to feel like I'm getting anywhere, if I don't move, I feel like I'm going backwards.

"He's in the street below that building," Robin points in front of us, a tall building some 25 yards away. He goes on to explain that we're up against a man known as The Grimace. He sounds like a mascot for some carnivorous fast food monopoly if you ask me. This guy, Grimace, is a real tank of a man. Robin says he and Batman fought him a few times, and he's no small order.

Whatever, I'm not in the mood to plan out, I'm not in the mood to think. Robin goes on talking, and I sprint to the edge of the roof we're standing on. I kick off just as I hear Robin protest, but I choose not to shift as I fall.

It's so weird that I've never done this before. It's hard to think. It's exhilarating, the wind rushing past me, pushing the air out of my lungs, the adrenaline rush.

What euphoria.

The ground grows closer, and closer, and I here Cyborg freaking out on the roof. Just before I hit, I shift into a flying squirrel, and ride the wind current all the way up to the other building. Then I turn back into myself, and for a few seconds it isn't Beast Boy flying, it's Garfield Logan. Then I hit the roof and roll, and stand back up.

My friends are staring at me, confused. Probably a little bewildered. Speckle-dorfed maybe. I smirk in their direction, and sprint off this roof as well. I'm up in the air, Garfield is flying again. I spin mid-air, and see this tank of a man below me. He doesn't look that tough, but he is the size of an actual tank. So, I turn into a sperm whale, and fall right on top of him, knocking him out. Before he dies of asphyxiation, I shift back to me, and sit on his back.

I check his pulse and he's alive, and I cuff him with the old doom patrol pair I keep in my belt.

Then, I'm pulled up from his body by an invisible force, and I'm lifted back up to the other building. Then I'm dropped, and Raven is holding my face.

"Garfield, are you okay?!" She was touching my cheeks, and I was blushing.

"No! I mean yes! I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" I don't pull her hands away.

"Beast Boy!" Robin comes from nowhere, and Raven pulls her hands away.

* * *

Where was I? Oh yeah, I'm on the couch in the commons. The purple is gone, I don't know where my shirt is.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

The purple is gone, because I feel so hot in my clothes. Ever since leaving Hoth, this place has been too warm for me. I'm still calling it Hoth, because I don't know what else to call it.

Sue me Luke Skywalker, I dare you.

My head feels strange too, like I'm still sleeping I guess. I would use the analogy that I feel like my batteries were put in backwards, but I don't want to offend Cyborg. My shoes are gone too, just like in Hoth. I'm still wearing my gloves.

And my pants of course. But you knew that already. Right?

Who am I even talking to? Who's listening? God? Do I believe in God?

"Yo, BB!" Cy calls me. Cy-guy. Cy-guy the Sly-guy.

"What's up dude?" I ask, forgetting I'm half naked, stretched out on the couch, hunched over and scribbling in a spiral notebook. My gloves are still on. So are my pants, but we've been over that.

"Check out this awesome cheese!" His hands were behind his back, funny how you don't notice those things until attention is drawn to them. From behind him, he brings forth the largest, most disgusting cheeseburger I've ever had the displeasure to observe... but something is different.

I can feel it, I can feel the dying animal calling out to me, screaming as it's taken away from it's family. I wanna cry, I want to hurt my best friend.

I don't really know what happens next, but I witness myself doing whatever it is, I just can't make sense of it. I grab the cheeseburger, feeling closer to the cow's pain then ever before, and I dive at Cyborg, touching his head with my hand.

I know, for that split-second, I know he feels it too.

Did I cry? Have you ever died?

Cyborg freaked out, and he didn't eat that cheeseburger. Somehow I was able to transfer the pain of the animal into Cyborg. Something's wrong with my head. I've been changed, and not for the better.

Our commotion is loud enough to draw the others from wherever they were, except for Raven, who I don't see.

"What happened?" Robin asks behind his mask.

Cyborg is shouting incoherently about baby cows, and I'm standing there silently, emptily... shirtless.

"I... did something." I say, "I think."

"What do you mean?" He asks me, then he looks at Cyborg, who is still blubbering.

"Where's Raven?" I ask. I'm ignored.

"Beast Boy, what did you do?" Dick Grayson in a mask asks me. I bet he's a real pretty boy under that mask, I bet he's not hiding green skin.

"I don't know. That's why I need to find Raven."

"You think her meditation messed with you somehow?" Thank you Dick, now we have a firm grasp of the obvious. You saw that, even with a mask blocking your eyes?

I think people who act stupid should be taken more seriously, I mean, how many times do people who pretend to be smart end up being stupid?

I must be a genius.

"What did you do to me B?!"

I must be an idiot.

"I'm sorry!" I choke on my words like I ate too much tofu at once. I don't know how to explain myself, even now I'm forgetting what exactly happened. I scream, "I need to find Raven!"

And rush out of the room. I sprint, breakneck, sprint to her room. I'm freaking out, I tell myself, just calm down Garfield. I wish I was Garfield, I'm not anymore. I don't wear a mask.

I don't knock, I break her door down. In my haste, I had turned into a ram unconsciously. I shift back, and I'm on all fours in her room.

Ooh, I shouldn't have knocked her door down.

"BEAST BOY!" She glared at me.

I've been the greatest of predators. I've stalked our enemies with the guile of a leopard. I've torn villans to shreds with the power of a wolf. I've been a rampaging rhino. Raven's eye scared me so bad, I thought I might wet myself.

I don't think you ever really think about who you love until they look like they're about to kill you. Isn't that how it goes, the ones we love hurt us the most?

Is that the quote? I dunno.

Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be fleeing for my life.

Why aren't I moving? Oh yeah, she's telekinetic or whatever. I'd claw at the ground if I could, but she's keeping me suspended in the air as she pulls me back into her room. And the door is still broken, but she manages to shove it back into place with such force that it gets stuck in the frame.

I don't think I'm getting out of this room alive. Maybe if I put Raven in my Will, she'll bring me back to life. Wait, then she'd have to give my stuff back... putting her in the Will would only give her more incentive to kill me.

I leave everything to Silky!

I guess I'll just have to avert my death the manly way.

"Raven, I'm sorry! Don't kill me! I have so much to live for!"

She spins me around, and I'm facing her face. God she's pretty. Did I take my other pants out of the dryer? It's strange the things we think of in our last moments on earth. I mean, it won't matter if my clothes shrunk, when I'm a corpse.

Wow her finger is cold. Wait, how do I know that? Oh my goodness. She's got a finger on my lips, like she's telling me to shush from my own perspective. She could've just as easily moved my own finger to do so. My gloves taste like pizza and punching bags, I'm glad she used her finger.

"Shut up." She tells me, though I'm pretty sure I stopped begging awhile ago, "Listen, Garfield."

She's only been using my real name in private lately.

"Mhmm?" I mumble from under her finger.

"If you ever come into my room without explicit permission from me again..." I imagine the worst. She smiles at me. I imagine even worser.

I swallow, and she removes her figer. I follow her finger with my lips longer than I should, and I think she notices.

"Take a seat," She motions toward the floor as she drops cross-legged onto it, "If you disturbed me, you better have a good reason."

I do as she says and think about how to phrase what I'm about to say. Unfortunately, my mouth starts off before I can get a concrete plan into place.

"You know when we were on Hoth, and I trusted you, and you made me keep my pants on, so then I touched Cyborg's cheeseburger and felt the cow die and put it in his brain, and he freaked out. So now everyone's mad at me!" What on earth did I just say?

"What on earth did you just say?" Her voice is like lubricated sandpaper.

"Okay, when we were in the snow place-"

"What snow place?" She's lying again, and doing a worse job at hiding it.

"Don't do that to me Rae, not after what I did for you."

"What are you-"

"You almost froze me to death you jerk! Stop pretending like it didn't happen! Ever since then I can't think straight, it's like I'm still sleeping. Then this thing with Cyborg happened! Like I had telepathy or something! And no matter how hard I try I can't stop thinking about you! What did you do to my head!? Why am I hallucinating that you're kissing me right now!?"

The last half is what I meant to say, but it comes out more like 'Whry mm I halluthinafink thert yre're krssing mer rght noer?" Because in my mind she's kissing me, and my mouth isn't listening to reality.

My hallucination stops for a moment, and Raven speaks,

"You aren't hallucinating." Then I'm kissing her again, only now I know it's real. I enjoy it for a while, living out a fantasy without trying to hard to figure out why it was happening, or thinking about when it would end. Then I hear mask-boy's steel tipped boots come down the hallway, and Raven pulls away.

I look into her eyes, and I realize what she's about to do. She lifts a hand that glows with energy, and I yell,

"No, Raven, NO!" I turn into the smallest mouse I can envision, and scurry out of the room just as Robin enters. I avoid his feet, but Dick get's the worse of Raven's attack, and he stands in the doorway dazed. He won't remember anything about the last two minutes of his life. I hope he didn't do anything important, like kissed the girl he loved.

I turn into a cheetah, and sprint faster than I thought was possible out of Titan's Tower. I'm flying off the edge of the Island, and I turn into Garfield before hitting the water.

I enjoy the blissful weightlessness for half-a-second, then I shift into a shark. I plan on spending the next few hours swimming around the Island, avoiding Raven for as long as possible, until she won't be able to erase the kiss from my memory without causing permanent brain damage.

Would she care? I hope so, I mean, she may think I'm stupid, but brain damaged Beast Boy would be no fun, for anyone!

Oooh, a fish.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

God, I'm soaked.

My fault though, I wanted to be Garfield in the water for a little bit, instead of a shark. The water was a lot colder on my human skin than my shark skin. Not as cold as Raven's finger on my lips.

I shiver, and I'm not sure if it's because I'm shirtless and the wind is biting me, or because I'm remembering my kiss with Raven. Nope, it's definitely the shirt thing.

I feel like a ninja as I sneak back in, I could just turn into a gecko or something else inconspicuous, but where's the fun in that? The tower feels mostly empty, and I'm careful when entering the commons to get a good view of who's in there before I reveal myself.

No sign of Raven. I'm pretty sure I sigh contentedly as I take a seat next to Cyborg, who is playing video games and seems to be over the whole cheeseburger thing.

"Hey man." I hope he isn't sill mad at me.

"Yo, B. Where you been?" He's too focused on the game to notice how soaking wet I am.

"I was out, needed some air... listen dude, I'm sorry about-"

"Nah man, don't even apologize. I shouldn't have been taunting you with that cheeseburger in the first place." He looks at me now, and dies in the game. He doesn't bat an eyelash, "I understand why you won't eat meat now man, and I respect that. We're cool dude. We're more than cool."

He turns back to the video game, and button mashes for a few moments before realized that he lost.

"AW MAN! I DIED!" I'm laughing so loud my sides feel like they're splitting. Boy wonder walks in, and smiles at us.

"Glad to see you guys got things worked out." I give him a thumbs up, but I'm still laughing too hard to speak. "Raven should be back soon Beast Boy, then we can get this thing sorted out."

I stop laughing so abruptly that my abs are instantly sore.

"Back? Where'd she go?"

"That's why we couldn't find her this morning, I checked her room and there was a note. She should be back soon."

That's how she covered for Robin's memory loss. When she get's back, she'll probably work out a plan to cover up her actions. I hope she doesn't try anything to crazy... I mean she wouldn't kill me to hide a kiss would she?

Would she?

Would she?!

I still haven't figured out why she even kissed me in the first place. I mean, we all know how devilishly handsome I am, and she clearly has a thing for me, the spontaneity of the kiss is the surprising thing. Not that I'm objecting to the kiss or anything! I quite enjoyed it!

Who wouldn't, Raven's a bombshell... who cares if she's a bit creepy? I kind of like the creepiness.

"I'm back."

Think of the devil. That applies in this circumstance right?

"Raven, we need your help with something." Robin asks. I push him aside and get right in the girl's face, fighting every temptation in my body to kiss her.

"Beast Boy?" She asks, and I can hear an undertone of worry in her voice. Her chin pushes out a little, and her lips are curling. I can tell she wants to kiss me too.

"No more games Raven. I need the truth."

"What are you talking about?" She lies. I grab her by the arm and lead her to her room. The door is fixed completely, and for a moment, I question my sanity. I shove her in all the same. For some reason, I'm acting more aggressive than usual, and I'm upsetting myself.

Then she surprises me by taking off her cloak.

"Oh Garfield, be gentle with me."

"What?" I realize what she's implying, and I'm more than tempted to do what she says, "No Rae, my head. You need to fix what you did to my head!"

She wraps her arms around my neck and brushes her lips against mine.

"Why are you acting so strangely?" I ask her, but she responds only by kissing me again. I kiss back, my will power isn't as strong as I thought.

* * *

I'm sitting on the couch in the commons, and her arms are around my neck. She's behind me, and I don't know who she's comfortable, but that's where she chose to sit. We do make an interesting tableau though, I'll give her that.

I found my shirt, it was in the freezer. I must've put it in there when I was really hot. I'm wearing it now, the purple is back. She's kissing my cheek.

"You're going to tell me what you did eventually."

"Whatever." She says, but I can tell she's not looking forward to telling me the truth.

"You tried to wipe my memory."

"I was worried you didn't love me."

"Why would you think that?"

Before she can answer Starfire comes in the room, and sees the two of us. The look on her face, priceless. I can't even begin to describe the shock inherent in her expression.

"Oh, oh-oh... Oh my." She smiles at us and apologizes for no reason. She heads back out of the room rather quickly, leaving me and Raven with wide grins on our faces. We can hear her talking to Robin in the other room.

"I'm scared!" She says too loudly, and only confuses Robin more with her explanation. Boy wonder leads her back into the room, and stares at us behind his mask.

"Sup." I say, playing on the humor of the situation. His eye twitches, and his jaw drops.

I am trying so hard not to laugh.

"Hey... guys." He says, and we beam back at them. There is no real way to describe what is going on right now. Imagine you come home one day and your best friend is making out with your sister, or brother. I guess that would accurately describe the immediate feeling of the situation, but in too specific of a context.

Hey look, Cyborg.

"BOOOOOYYYYAAAAHHH!" He yells when he sees Raven around my neck.

And I am confused, to say the least.

Raven stands up and pulls herself away from me, and I miss her immediately. She high-fives Cy.

Hey, that almost rhymes.

and I feel like I've been left out of the loop.

"I feel like I've been left out of the loop." Starfire says, taking the words right out of my mouth. Not literally. That wouldn't be possible. But you know that.

"Do you guys think I should start wearing a mask again?" I'm not quite sure if I asked that aloud. Raven sits on my lap, facing me. She's smiling at me, quite devilishly at me. I think that's a recurring theme here. LUCIFER.

What?

"Yo, I've been trying to see you two together for years! This is mission accomplished y'all." Cyborg says. Raven winks at me, and I'm blushing.

"So... you too are together then?" Robin asks, and I don't answer.

"Whatever." Raven says, but she's smiling so it means so much more. I look at her, and her eyes give me permission to kiss her.

My brain is still inverted, like I'm still underwater, but her kiss grounds me in reality. Her lips are my anchor.

I should write this stuff down.

Marry me? I'm thinking but not asking. Or maybe I did, because she nods at me. But maybe she's nodding at something else, because even though she's eighteen that's still too young, and I'm even younger. Did she ever put her cloak back on? Should I wear a cape?

"I'm too young for marriage right now Rae." I say, and she laughs. I must not have asked aloud. She throws her arms around my neck again, and nuzzles into the space between my collarbone and my shoulder. Where did this come from?

"So about the mask thing?" again I'm ignored, and Raven sits next to me on the couch, leaning her head on my shoulder. The others grab spots on the couches, and from nowhere Cyborg drops a boxed pizza pie.

"PIZZA!" for a moment I forget my dilema, and grab a slice. I like cheese pizza. I like cheese, and I also like Pizza. The two together is a win win situation.

"I just want to say I'm very glad me and Raven are together." I don't think that's proper english. Am I making a toast over Pizza?

"This is good Pizza." I add before anyone can react to my previous statement, "I should wear a mask. and a cape. i could be beast-man." I don't say this aloud, do I?

"What aloud?" Robin asks, and my fear reaches hysteria.

Something is wrong with me.

Something is seriously wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

It's getting harder and harder to keep a line of thought going

Where is Raven?

without interruption. Do we have any tofu left in the fridge? I'm not even trying to be funny, I can't keep up with the own direction of my

I could wear a white and red uniform, and call myself Changeling. That's a manly enough name, isn't

Stop. Just stop, and concentrate on the

No. Stop. I said stop. There, hold it. Hold this concentration. Something is wrong with me, and I need to figure it out. I have to find Raven. Oh wait, she's sitting next to me, holding my hand.

"Rae? I'm losing my mind. Like, I'm seriously scared. Can you please undid whatever you did?"

She doesn't answer, then I realize I didn't actually ask her, I just thought I did it.

"Please Raven, I'm so scared right now." I tell her, this time I know I did. I'm closing my eyes super tight, and I'm scared

So scared, that when I open my eyes the world won't be there anymore. I forget how to open my eyes, then I hear her voice.

"Beast Boy?" I remember now, I remember who's talking and how to open my eyes. I look at her, and imagine that I look like a kicked puppy. I stare at her, who is she again?

"Wh... wh... help." Changeling.

"Beast Boy?" Her. She. Touching my cheeks, holding them.

"Beast..." Changeling Logan.

"Garfield?" Raven. The girl I love.

My brain snaps into focus with surprising clarity, and I say what I wanted to in the first place.

"Please fix my head Raven, I love you so much. I'm losing my mind. I love you. You know I'm lost minding you." What? that wasn't how I planned it out.

"Hang on Garfield." She grabs me by the hand, and leads me to her room. My friends are too selfish to hear me, or see me. No, they aren't, they're just busy doing something or another. Cyborg isn't even in the room, Starfire is cooking, and Robin and are Robin sharpening his bird-a-rang. Calm down, don't lose your grammer, that's what makes you so charming.

I smile, and the tears from my eyes run into my mouth. Raven looks really cute leading me on, like she always does, except literally now. I think you're cute, you know that?

"What, Garfield? Did you say something?" Before I can answer she tells me to sit on the floor and closes the door, "I need to explain to you what I did before I fix it, okay?"

I nod. I touch my forehead.

"Explain away, pretty lady." I say, without thinking to say it, or thinking so quickly I don't notice. She sits in front of me and takes my hands in my lap. She massages them gently before speaking again.

"It all started a few years ago, that night near the shore when you hugged me. I started having bi-monthly dreams of you, then bi-weekly, then every single day."

"I dream about you too, my fair lady."

"No listen, it got to the point where I had to start exorcising you from my mind."

"That explains your awesome body."

She blushes, and for a minute I forget she's helping me. I shouldn't have made the joke. I'm so freaking funny, but I'm so losing my mind. I love you Raven. Rae.

Changeling.

"Shhh, I mean like you'd exorcise a demon. Every week, I would meditate, create a landscape, and make my version of you. At the end of every meditation, I would make you do something I knew you would refuse."

"Like on Hoth, when I chopped off the Wampa's arm and Ben Kenobi told me to find Master Yoda." I am a nerd alright. A big one, I've seen the Empire Strikes Back more times than I can count. I love Star Wars, I can turn into an Ewok if I wanted, that would be cute.

I don't, maybe later.

"Like when you invaded my mind, and I tried to freeze you to death... only in my normal meditations, you would've shifted into a polar bear or something. I do it differently every time."

"It was really purple there." I mean cold.

"That time, I thought maybe I messed something up, I thought that I gave in and made the perfect Garfield Logan, the boy I loved." She smiles, "I didn't think you existed that way, I thought you were a foolish boy that I was in love with for some foolish reason."

"Foolhardy."

"I was a fool." She admits, "I didn't want to admit I dreamed about you, so I hid my secret... that was a mistake. I think I put that perfect Garfield Logan in your head, and he's trying to take over."

"So get him out! I don't want this Rae!" I'm thinking clearly for a few seconds, I don't have much time to

"I..." She's tapping at my door, "I... I don't want to." Nevermore.

"Raven Please?! I'm not better this way."

"Not now." She is stuttering, "But, but, but once Garfield takes over you'll be perfect."

"That wouldn't be real me! I would be falsed! Not Garfield, Changeling! Liar, loser!" Keep the grammer. Don't be a fool. You fool, you changeling.

"Shh, shh." She brushes the tears from my cheeks, my green cheeks, "It'll be okay soon Beast Boy, just a few days."

"Don't do this to me Rae, please. Not you. Why? What's wrong with the real me?"

"Nothings wrong with you Beast Boy... but Garfield is the perfect you, don't you want to be perfect?"

"I am perfect, when I'm with you." Again, right this stuff down. She blushes. I laugh, she laughs back.

"Oh, Beast Boy. I love you. So... so much, but what if you don't love me anymore when Garfield is gone?"

"Raven, you're missing everything. I am Garfield. I chose to trust you out in the cold, you didn't choose for me. I love you, I've loved you since before that night on the shore. I always will, tofu you black bird. Please turn me back to no masked man."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Beast Boy," I'm not thinking anymore, "I am always Beast Boy. Robin is Dick Grayson sometimes, I want to be Garfield sometimes... like he can." Raven, I love you.

I don't care if you turn me back anymore, "As long as I make you happy." But completely kill me from my mind, "Leave none of me behind," Because always being changeling, "Would be worse than only being Garfield sometimes." When I'm with you," I'm complete.

"Beast Boy, you aren't making any sense."

"Call me Garfield." Before you kill me, "One more time before the darkness." Pretty black bird.

"Don't be so dramatic, I'll fix your head." She smiles at me, "Just close those gorgeous eyes."

"I promise I'll still love." you.

"I hope so."

"If not, you can put him back."

"I won't." Raven.

"I'd rather be someone else who is completely devoted to you, then not love you myself." Buy a freaking pen man! and a spiral bound notebook. or just some post-it notes.

"Goodnight..." Beast Boy, "Garfield."

She touches my forehead, and I black out.

Hey! I'm still awake, what gives? I should wear a mask, and call myself Skywalker. Raven would be my love and tofu at night would guide me.

I'm supposed to be aslee-


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

ugh... what time is it? wait... where am i?

i'm in bed. my bed. and it's dark in my room, but the curtains are drawn, so i have no clue if what time of day it is. oh wait, i have in alarm clock.

"Eight thirty p.m." Well this is gonna mess with my sleep schedule. It's bad enough my head has been so messed up nowadays, now i have that post-nap grogginess to contend with. Oh wait.

My head feels, fine. Great even. Well, you know. Normal at least, well normal for me at least. Wow, the relief rushing over me right now is indescribable, so I'm not even gonna try to put it into words. I'm not just relieved because I'm back to normal. I'm relieved because Raven turned me back to normal, choosing the real me over the 'perfect' impostor. The 'changeling', which, would actually be a cool name for a super hero. He'd have to wear a mask though, only way to go.

No. Screw masks. I'm never wearing a mask again. I am Beast Boy. Why would I hide behind a few layers of fabric? I mean, my skin is green, unless I wear a full body suit, anyone would be able to recognize me in a crowd. I can't put on a pair of glasses and blend in at the Daily Planet.

'Hey Garfield, did you hear about that new hunky green-skinned hero Changeling? He's way dreamier than you.'

'You're right Lois, my green skin could never be as dreamy as his.'

'What?'

'You're an idiot.'

Eight thirty p.m means that any dinner being eaten is probably quickly on its way to being eaten, so I should get up now and go grab some.

I pass her room, but don't knock for now. I'll figure out where I stand with her after I get some food into my empty belly.

"FEED ME BEAST BOY! FEED ME NOW!"

Hush little guy, I'm working on it. No, my stomach isn't really talking to me. Use your head kids. There's my boy Cyborg in the kitchen, having a whole pizza to himself. Not for long.

"Duuude! Pass me a slice!" He is crestfallen as I rob him from completing his pie by his lonesome, but hides it with something else.

"You finally woke up? Took you half a day."

I shrug, I don't want to answer him. and even if I did, I don't really know how to. The cheese is stringy and tasty, and I'm relishing in its greasiness. I love pizza. But really, who doesn't?

I don't know if she does. I still love her.

Wait, I still love her. I still love her, and she took her magic out of my brain. If she did take her magic out.

I test my theory by opening the fridge, and staring hard at a large turkey leg. I feel... nothing.

The magic is gone! I am back to normal, and I still want Raven's lips pressed firmly against mine! I'm blushing, so I stick my face into the refrigerator, cooling the blood in my cheeks.

Why, you ask? No clue. I'm strange like that.

So, I'm standing there, one arm on the fridge door, my face in between a plate of tofu and a plate of... something that Starfire made, letting the cold air out, and closing my eyes. And I hear her.

"Hey." Raven.

"Hiya!" I spring away from the fridge, and close the door in such a hurry that a magnet with a shopping list falls off and slides under the fridge. I wrote that shopping list, if it stays under the fridge, then Robin won't restock our ice-cream supply. That is something, I just can't allow.

"One second please!" She looks at me, her frown lopsided. I shift into a mouse and crawl under the fridge. When I return with the letter, and shift back to normal, I go to talk, but I still have the list in my mouth, and after a few undecipherable syllables, it slips out of my mouth, saliva and teeth marks soiling it.

I smile at her, and rub the back of my head. A choice, but I'm sure an adorable one. She doesn't seem to take notice, and remains frozen, with the lopsided frown on her face.

"What's up?" I ask after a while, permeating the awkward silence, that until now had consisted of Cyborg's occasional moan of pizza induced pleasure.

"Ohhh, booyah that's tasty."

"Cut the crap Beast Boy." She says, her voice holding the heaviest apathy I can imagine, but her eyes betraying her true feelings. I see sorrow, and fear, and I quickly try to alleviate it.

"You fixed my head! I'm normal again!" I say, laughing. She doesn't flinch. That isn't the news she's trying to hear.

"What is it?" I ask, like an idiot.

"she mumbles." so I can't understand her.

"What?"

"She mumbles louder, angrier." but i still can't understand her.

"Rae, I seriously can't hear you."

"Do. You. Still..." She's angry now. I mean, really angry.

"What?" I say, pushing it. I know what she's trying to ask, but I feel only partially guilty, because she looks so cute when she's flustered.

Then she grabs me by the collar, and her cuteness inexplicably becomes sex appeal.

I smile, and laugh innocently enough, but she's in no mood to joke.

"Beast Boy..." She says, and I can hear the acid in her voice, and I can feel my soul corroding.

"Use my real name please." I say, knowing she is probably two quips away from decapitating me.

"Garfield. If you don't tell me right now, I swear I will-"

"Yup. I love you. Still." I quickly say, and then, fearing her response, "...Kiss me?"

The relief that passes over her face is tidal in proportion, and I realize that that is the real reason I will never wear a mask. I want her to see in my eyes how I feel for her, and I want her to read me just as well as I read her.

Because I love her, and I always will.

And as I kiss her, I realize that this might be a good time to end my train of thought, and start a new one.

The new train is leaving the station now, and though there are many people aboard, and many destinations, a single cart is occupied by two people.

"Me and you." I say, as I break the kiss. I brush her hair with a gloved hand, and lean in for another kiss, "Forever."

**THE END.**

**Thanks for reading!**


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